When my husband died my world crashed. I went through that first week without knowing what day it was. Once my children went back home, I sat in my house wondering why. Why had this happened? I told myself it was my fault. I had pushed him too hard and hadn’t been a good wife. If only…..
Those two words “if only” will steal your peace, your belief about yourself and cause you to doubt decisions you’ve made. I learned the hard way that you can’t go back. You can’t change the words spoken in anger that you didn’t really mean. You have to live with them and somehow learn to forgive yourself. If you don’t depression will consume you and keep you from moving forward. My depression was like quicksand. I felt as though it just kept pulling me under.
I had friends that were there to listen but inevitably it was me who had to make the decision to get up out of the self-pity I was wallowing in. That first Sunday back in church (it had been a while) the pastor preached on being put in a place that you didn’t ask to be in. I will never forget his words. It was as if he were talking only to me.
So I just want you to know that if you are in that place you “can” get up. There is forgiveness. There is life for you after loss. It’s a journey not a sprint. It isn’t easy but it is possible. I know…I’m living it.
Heart Strings 