The water is my refuge. I love to go out in my kayak and just paddle. That is…when the water is calm. When you’re out in the middle of the lake and the wind picks up or the waves of a passing boat catch you off guard it can be pretty scary. At least it is for me. I try madly to paddle out of the way becoming exhausted in the process. Actually the best thing to do is to face the waves head on. That way you can see exactly where you are going and you can power through them.
I am finding life is a lot like this lately. I have faced many waves in the past year. At times I have felt like I was drowning. I have felt weak and like nothing matters even though I know better. Grief can take over and completely overwhelm you. It can be a daily struggle and sometimes it is and all you can see is the next wave barreling down on you. I am slowly gaining momentum and learning to face the issues instead of avoid them. They will still be there and need to be dealt with. When I try to face them all at one time it becomes too much.
What I am learning as well is that I deserve to be happy. I don’t want to stay in a place where my happiness is threatened. Life is too short to be spent always fighting against the waves. I will get through this and find that place where I am not content with “what is” but will find “what it should be!”
Heart Strings 